ALL ABOARD.... For the Bi-Polar Express!

2011-05-06T04:30:00.004-04:00

Bipolar Disorder and Suicide

2011-05-05T01:30:00.000-04:00

Amongst all mental illness bipolar disorder has the highest rate of suicide. Many studies indicate a 15% rate of suicide amongst individuals with bipolar disorder. This rate is about 30 times higher than than that of the general population. The rate of suicides amongst bipolar people is even higher than that for schizophrenics.

Having said that, i won't dance around the subject. Yes i have attempted suicide at least 4 times. All of these times in my adolescent years before i was properly diagnosed as having Bipolar Disorder. At that point in time I was diagnosed as having Major Depressive Disorder. Hindsight 20/20, it was as clear as the nose on my face what i was dealing with. I wasn't diagnosed with BPD until 2007. This is the first time that I have had a real manic episode. It has lasted way too long, just about a year, if not right over.

I won't lie, suicide has crossed my mind again as an adult, very recently in fact. It scares the shit outta me to think this way. But for me to think this way, it's normal. Normal to feel outta place in my life. Normal to hate living. Normal to want to be done with the shit that is called my life.

I know why people with bipolar disorder turn to suicide. They never feel totally normal. When I was on my medications I was great. However it is well known and documented that those who are on medication for BPD usually stop the meds when they feel good. Once off the meds all hell usually breaks loose. I am now in that stage. I cannot go back to the Lithium that i once took. I am now on the search for a medication that doesn't cause scary side effects such as lethal rashes, diabetes II, seizures and of course the more common headache, dry mouth blurred vision. I don't wanna take these meds. I don't want these poisons traveling through my body just so i can be normal and function like everyone else. For me I will never know what it is like to feel normal. To not be on my rollercoaster of a life. To not go to bed every night with thoughts racing in my head and therefore have to take meds to make me sleep. I will never know normal.

In my mind suicide will always be like the elephant in the room. It's always there, always an option, always a thought. Should i drive my car into the sound wall on the interstate? Should I just take every single medication that i have on hand and hope that i don't wake up in the morning? Should I just try to blow my heart up by going on an all night bender of cocaine and heroin? Don't think i'm kidding. In the past weeks these have all crossed my mind.

Been a long time, been a long time...

2011-05-04T04:40:00.000-04:00

A lot has happened in the months that i have updated my blog. I feel that i need to release some of what is going on inside of me. For those of you that don't know, I deal with Bipolar Disorder on a daily basis. It's not fun. It is a rollercoaster of emotions from one day to the next. I have currently been in a "Manic" state for almost a year now. It's been hard. I have lost everything i ever cared about. I lost my husband, I lost my children, I lost my home. I lost my life. All because i wasn't willing to admit to my Psychiatrist that yes i was in mania.

I have moved on. I met a wonderful man who is now my second husband. I don't know how well of a decision that was at the time that i made it. However he understands my bipolar and stands by me. I have now been changed medications and are hoping and praying for them to begin working so i can get off the rollercoaster that i have been used to as my life. This past year has been crazy. From impromptu road trips to partying every night of the week to divorce to drug use. I am coming down and crashing. I reached out and hopefully will receive the medical help that i need to deal with this head on.

Mental health has a stigma that no one wants to admit or deal with. Sometimes it is easier to deal with it now than never. I never wanted to admit that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain and for the rest of my life will be on medication to balance it out.

I need that rainbow to guide me to the end. To reassure me that it will all work out. I need clarity in my life. I need to open my eyes and see that to admit this doesn't make me a bad person, possibly stronger in the end for getting it out and getting the help that i need.

Random Pictures of our life

2010-04-25T01:35:00.010-04:00

Because I haven't updated this blog in what seems like, well.....um....forever, here's
some random pics of our life from the past 4 months. Hope you enjoy!

Tyler scooterin' last week. He loves this Radio Flyer scooter that he
received as a gift for Christmas from Nana.

Megan scooterin' with her brother. I think one whole afternoon was
spent on their scooters.

The lilac tree/bush outside our bedroom window. The smell is heavenly.

A pretty flowering bush , don't know what kind but it has delicate w
white flowers covering the entire thing.

One of the incisions on my foot. I had surgery on April 14

The other incision on my foot. This one hurts a little more and this is the one the implant was taken out of. It still has stitches and those will come out Tuesday.

Just a cute pic of my boy.

With spring comes nebulizer treatments. This is how the girl child
passes the time while hooked up

Megan at her Karate testing April 7th. She tested out of her yellow belt
and into an orange belt.

Proud and nervous Megan before testing

Easter egg hunt. Megan, Tyler and one of their cousins.

Megan posing proudly (with a cheesy grin) with her loot.

All of the grandchildren. My 2 kids and my sister's 3 boys. Notice my dork
in the Lowe's apron. It was a very informal Easter.

Baby bunnies that were born the last week of March or the first week of April

Megan on the trampoline, a favorite past time of both of my children.

Close up of Megan after jumping on the trampoline.

Jumping fun!

Daffodils

More spring daffodils

First signs of spring, the crocus!

And mud!

Precious muddy face. Love those eyes.

Getting ready to hit the shower after an afternoon of playing in the muddy puddles

Yellow Belt!

Congratulations Megan you tested for your Yellow belt 2/10

Serious Karate face! She ain't messing around.

Fighting Stance!

Cardinal in the bird feeder during our record snowy February.

Exhausted after playing all day in the snow.

Megan with her snow-woman, Isabella.

A winter sunset.

Super Soup

2010-01-26T13:09:00.003-05:00

There's nothing better to me than a nice warm hearty bowl of soup for dinner when it is cold and dreary out. I have been testing new recipes on my family because I have changed my way of eating to help me loose weight. This way of eating (South Beach Diet) really isn't that new to us. We have basically been eating like this all along, I just needed to change a few things. I think that is why I have had great success using this program to help me loose weight. I am now down almost 38lbs.

Anyway... the soup that i made on Sunday was just that, SUPER! The kids loved it and hubby loved it. It was a winner all around.

Rustic Tomato and Lentil Soup
*as much garlic as you want
1 medium onion, diced
3 medium carrots, diced
2T olive oil
2 stalks celery, chopped
6 C vegetable stock
1 28oz can tomatoes
2 C cooked lentils
1 cup whole wheat pasta

In large pot saute garlic, onions and carrots until translucent. Add celery, stock, tomatoes, lentils and salt and pepper to taste. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low and simmer 20 minutes or until carrots are tender. Add pasta and simmer 10 more minutes until pasta is cooked.

This is such a versatile soup that you could substitute beans for the lentils or leave the pasta out and it would still be delish. Also in my opinion it could have used a bit more tomatoes.

Enjoy!

So yummy the kids can't tell they are "diet" recipes, recipes.

2010-01-20T23:09:00.005-05:00

I have been workin' the South Beach Diet now since July. I am happy to announce that I have lost almost 40lbs. This diet isn't so much a diet but a way of life. Gotta eat the good carbs and good fats During the summer months it was very easy. We normally eat lots of grilled meats, garden fresh veggies and crisp, crunchy salads. However with cold weather upon us my body craves something a little more substantial, something cozy and warm. Some searching on the internet to find something a little different and i came up with a menu for the week.

For breakfast for myself I found a faux french toast recipe. I love me a good stack of french toast with syrup. Oh so yummy. The only other recipe that i have tried that was new was a black bean soup. It was easy and dinner was done in 10 minutes. Everyone loved the soup, even the increasingly picky 4 yr old.

South Beach style french toast
4 whole eggs
4 egg whites beaten until very frothy
1/2 cup ricotta cheese
1T splenda (more or less to taste)
splash of vanilla and sprinkle of cinnamon (again adjust to your taste)

mix all together pour into 8x8 baking dish sprayed with cooking spray. Bake at 350 until golden, about 30 mins.

I cut into 4 squares and drizzle 1 with sugar free syrup.

Paired with half grapefruit and coffee, this makes for a tasty and filling breakfast.

Black Bean Soup
1/2 cup favorite salsa
1 can black beans, rinsed and drained
1/2 can chicken broth (i added about 1/2 cup water as well)

heat salsa in soup pot about 5 mins. Add chicken broth and beans. Heat through. Either with an immersion blender or scoop about half of soup out, puree and add back to pot.

Top with reduce fat sour cream and 2% cheese.

serves 2.

I had to double it to feed our family. I added a bit of water as well so it wasn't "pasty"

White Chocolate Cranberry Almond Magic Cookie bars

2009-12-16T18:25:00.002-05:00

A new twist on a classic favorite of mine. My mom has been making the Eagle Brand Magic Cookie Bars for as long as i can remember. Tasty, simple and a true comfort sweet for me. My hubby doesn't like coconut so i changed the recipe.

Here is the original recipe, the only thing i change was the toppings.

Ingredients

1/2 cup butter or margarine, melted
1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs
1 (14 ounce) can EAGLE BRAND® Sweetened Condensed Milk
2 cups semisweet chocolate morsels (2 cups white chocolate chips)
1 1/3 cups flaked coconut (1 1/3 cup craisins)
1 cup chopped nuts (1 cup sliced almonds)

Directions

Heat oven to 350 degrees F (325 degrees for glass dish). Coat 13x9-inch baking pan with no-stick cooking spray.
Combine graham cracker crumbs and butter. Press into bottom of prepared pan. Pour sweetened condensed milk evenly over crumb mixture. Layer evenly with chocolate chips, coconut and nuts. Press down firmly with a fork.
Bake 25 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool. Cut into bars or diamonds. Store covered at room temperature.

These for me, uped the elegant factor with the different ingredients. I know, i am strange, but they were really yummy and a little decadent.

No one is immune to Addiction

2009-12-08T02:29:00.004-05:00

There's something about the word ADDICTION. It sounds nasty, mean, dirty and wrong. It makes you think of homeless on the streets. Crack addicted babies and their mommas. One thing it doesn't make you think of is a middle class father of 2. My husband.

A little background, my husband was hurt at work in the summer of 2008. It was a bad injury requiring 3 surgeries, therapy and drugs. Heavy duty pain medication. OxyContin. I have never personally known anyone who takes oxycontin, however that medication carries the stigma of being highly addictive. And it is.

Fast-forward a year and a half, and the accident is still ruling out lives. At the beginning of November I found out that my husband was addicted to the pain medication that he was prescribed to help him cope with the pain. He had taken the whole prescription in 10 days, it was meant for 30. Now he was causing the rest of us pain as well. He sat me down and told me that he was going into withdrawls and needed to either find some Oxy off the street or find a methadone clinic. Off he went in search of a methadone clinic. He couldn't get into one that day and needed something. Stopped by the ER, they basically threw him out on the street and said deal with it. Finally he came home and called his Dr. He explained to them that he had taken his whole prescription and wanted to know what to do. They told him to go back to the ER and explain what was going on and make an appointment for Monday morning. So that's what we did. Long story short, the dr. changed the meds from OxyContin to Methadone. So far so good. At least that is what i thought until last night.

Last night as i sit on the couch checking out the bank account online I notice large ATM withdrawls. Even though these withdrawls had been anywhere from 1-3 months ago, i questioned him on them. He tried to tell me that he was paying bills with money orders. I KNOW for a fact that it was a lie. All of our bills except 1 are paid online thru automatic payment. So i questioned him again. Finally he told me, he was buying more Oxy on the streets. Street value for Oxy is normally $1 per milligram. Ouch! He was probably buying either 60 or 80 mgs. I don't know for sure. Either way, that's a lot of money coming out of an account every other day or so.

So last night he tells me all of this. I sit here dumbfounded and shell shocked. Don't know what to think or feel. I am angry that he let this happen. I am angry that i didn't see it happening. (in retrospect i did. I questioned him and he turned it around on me). I am angry that he put himself and his addiction before his family. If he has lied to me about this what else is out there that he has lied to me about? I now am questioning my trust in him. I am questioning his addiction history and wondering if something of this caliber is going to happen again. I feel betrayed, let down, and angry.

The only positive that i can find in this whole mess is that he is going to counseling. He has been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Clinical Depression. I am hopeful that he will address these addiction problems with her and that I can once again trust him as the person that i once knew.

Tractors and Champions

2009-11-02T20:37:00.004-05:00

After 3 nights of trick or treating I was thankful Halloween season was over. Yes i said 3 nights. First on Thursday we trick or treated in the community that i grew up in. Friday night we went to a local open air mall. They had the local fire department there, a pony for petting and pictures, stilt walkers and trick or treating at all the stores. Stores such as Borders, Stride Rite, Yankee Candle and Kay's Jewelry. I was hoping for things like diamonds, sapphires, kids shoes and seasonally scented candles. But no such luck, we only got candy, with the occasional 20% off coupon. And Saturday night we stayed local. All 3 nights I had the privilege of being pushed in a wheel chair.

When I asked Tyler before my surgery what he wanted to be for Halloween, he told me he wanted to be a farmer. That would be easy, we already had everything do make that costume, except for a pair of overalls. I looked high and low for a pair of Osh Kosh b'gosh. Couldn't find a pair anywhere! I checked thrift stores, asked friends and my sister. No one had a pair that i could even borrow. So onto Plan B. I browsed online and found a picture of a little boy sporting a cardboard tractor. At that moment I knew what i was going to do. I got a small box and fashioned it to resemble a certain green and yellow tractor.

This little boy and his tractor was the talk of every stop that we hit. He was absolutely giddy to have a tractor. And i have to admit he was pretty damn cute.

In addition to my lil' farmer, I also had a gymnastic Champion on my hands. Megan loves gymnastics and it was only natural for her to want to dress up as something that she aspires to be. She has expressed on many occassions that she wants to be in the olympics. This was only practice for the many gold medals she intends to win.

You Just Gonna Crawl Like a Big 'ol Baby

2009-10-19T19:45:00.007-04:00

I didn't hesitate one bit, I answered with a very resounding YES! Why yes I am gonna crawl like a big 'ol baby. And I don 't care if i am 30 years old. And I don't care if you like it or not. This is what i told my 4 year old son. This was said to me 1 week ago as I came into the house after having surgery. Foot surgery. The crutches just were not working for me. I was able to get up the first step with the help of my husband and tried to get up the second step and into the house. This was a feat that I was not able to accomplish with the help of my husband, kids or crutches.
Still doped up on anesthesia and pain pills, I threw my crutches into the house as if I were a javelin thrower at a track and field competition. At this point in time I didn't care who saw me, i just wanted my bed. I knelt down and I crawled into the house, yep you guess it, like a baby. I proceeded to crawl through the entry way, down the hall and into my bed.

One week post surgery and when i want to get somewhere fast, i crawl. Now i know why once babies learn to walk most of them still prefer to crawl. It's easier than trying to get my crutches, hoist myself up on them and clumsily make my way around the house.

As I said I am now 1 week post surgery and i have gotten the soft splint taken off and a hard cast put on. As you can see it is a nice bright orange. My children picked it out. Orange for fall and orange for pumpkins. I will have this cast for 2 weeks and I go back to the doctor's to see what the next course of treatment is. Until then i will be seen crawling around my house.

Thought Provoking Thursday

2009-10-08T17:56:00.003-04:00

So i visit a little blog called Manic Mother. She has been going through a lot recently, with her little man (Ezra in my sidebar) fighting cancer and all. Over there she posted a question today to provoke you to think a little. Her question being: If you could ensure your kids never have one experience that you have had, what would it be?

I had to think long and hard on that question. I have experienced more than my fair share of life changing events, at least in my opinion. I have been through domestic abuse between my mother and father. I have been physically abused by my father and witnessed physical abuse to my siblings by my father. Alcoholism, divorce, being raped by a stranger, depression and suicide attempts. All of this before the age of 18. Of all of these events how could i just pick one? I can't. What I wish that i could ensure that my children never have to experience is the extreme hurt caused by another human being.

The physical hurt that was inflicted upon me eventually trickled down to emotionally problems. Abandonment issues, trust issues, and self-esteem issues, those feelings finally led way to depression and attempts at taking my own life. Do i wish that these never happened? Sure, no one wants to have these horrible things happen to them. Would I be the same person had i not experienced them? I believe that i would not be the same person i am today if i hadn't gone through what i did. Those feelings and experiences helped me to be the person that I am today.

A friend found amongst the flowers of late Summer

2009-09-29T17:18:00.000-04:00

What a surprise it was to me when i found this thing while looking through some late summer flowers. It is a black and yellow agriope, non venomous.

Fall is sneaking up on us

2009-09-28T17:14:00.002-04:00

One lone leaf spotted on a nearby Sassafrass Tree. More to come soon, I am sure of.

Belated Happy 4th Birthday to my little boy

2009-09-27T16:23:00.007-04:00

This year tyler got to celebrate his 4th birthday twice. Once in Virginia with his Nana and Papa that he had never met, and back home in ohio.

In Virginia it was all about Thomas the Tank Engine. Ohio's party was a little more subdued and we just had a small cake but lots of presents and fun.

The picture of the slide is a play area at the beach. We headed out to the beach for a while on his birthday. Notice the "I'm the Birthday boy shirt" It got lots of notices and comments.

Sorry for all the photos, i just couldn't decide. These are only the pics from virginia.

More Wonderful Vacation Pictures

2009-09-25T11:41:00.003-04:00

Works For Me Wednesday-Roasted Veggies

2009-09-22T23:02:00.010-04:00

I don't know where i would be without my roasted veggies. I LOVE'em! My fave by far is cauliflower. I just chop up some fresh veggies and drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with salt. Roast for about 30-40 mins at 400-425 degrees.

Yesterday i ate an entire head of cauliflower and 3 stalks of broccoli. It was tasty. So far i have roasted carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, asparagus, zucchini, yellow squash, tomatoes and eggplant (another of my faves) and brussel sprouts.

Check out more tips at We are THAT Family.

Beach Pics

2009-09-21T11:36:00.005-04:00

blogger is giving me hell about uploading pics so more to come later.

20lbs of me Gone FOREVER!

2009-08-12T17:44:00.002-04:00

Yes, you read that correctly. I am now down 20 pounds. 20 ugly, no good, rotten pounds of fat disappeared. I feel good. I feel better than good. I am feeling fantastic. I am able to fit into clothes that i haven't been able to fit into for a year or more.

With the change in weight, I have also changed some other things about me. I got a really good haircut. It feels great. I feel like a new woman. I use a little lip gloss every now and then. I walk with my head a little higher and my shoulders back. I feel like a better wife and mommy.

I gotta keep on. I can only imagine how great i'll feel in another 10 or 20 pounds. My ultimate gold is anoter 4o. It's a long way to go but i can't turn back now.

Project Me. Day 1.

2009-07-29T21:45:00.003-04:00

On my travels today I gazed into the clouds and thought about myself for a bit. Then i realized i was driving and needed to pay attention to the car in front of me. Actually I thought about what i can do to work on my self esteem. So i decided to start with baby steps. And i already have, it started 4 weeks ago when i started the South Beach Diet. Just now have i put a finger on what was bothering me and what i can do to change the feelings i have about myself.

I know that most of my "issues" come from my weight problems. I am eating good and have dropped weight with that. Now since i am comfortable with my eating i need to add in more deliberate exercise. So I took the initiative and did something. I walked a bit and then hopped on my stationary bike. I felt really good when i was done. I did it for me.

Self ~Esteem

2009-07-28T21:46:00.002-04:00

I've always struggled with a positive self-esteem. There have only been 2 times in my life that i have felt good about myself. The first time that i really felt good about myself was when i was 19. Newly in love, young and full of energy. I worked first shift and my boyfriend (now hubby) worked second at the same place. I was livin' on love. I woke up in the morning thinking of him and went to bed thinking if him. I worked out, ate healthy and had no worries. I was happy and felt invincible.

The 2nd time in my life that i was truly happy and felt comfortable with myself was in between the pregnancies with my children. About 2003-04. Again I was exercising, eating healthy, i worked part time. I don't know why in particular i felt so comfortable being me at this time. I was much thinner. I was happier. I really don't know.

Right now i am not happy being me. I am not comfortable in my own skin. I am working on reviving my self-esteem. But right now i don't like me. I am working on the outside of me. I am doing the South Beach Diet. I am working my hardest. I have started throwing in more exercise. It's not easy but i need to do it for me. I need to feel like i did prior to having children. I need to love me and pay attention to me. I am trying to find myself again. It's what i have to do to be a better person, wife and mother.

South Beach Diet

2009-07-25T13:21:00.004-04:00

I am highly pleased to say that i have been following the south beach diet plan for almost 4 weeks and as of yesterday morning i as down 15lbs. This is huge for me. I take 3 different kinds of medications that can cause weight gain. I have struggled for years to find something that worked. This is it.

If you are not familiar with the South Beach diet, i think of it as the kinder, gentler Atkins diet. Even for me the first 2 weeks of the diet were so easy i could have continued on it. And i am being rather slow to add the healthy carbs back in.

That's my update for now. I'll keep posting when i have something interesting to say. Maybe some yummy South Beach recipes or somethin.

I'm addicted

2009-07-12T18:41:00.003-04:00

not to drugs, but it definately needs a 12 step program. I am addicted to Facebook. Namely, the app Farm Town. Geez i just started playing thursday or friday i'm not sure but i am so addicted. If you haven't heard of it, Farm Town is where you are able to build your own farm. You earn coins to buy seeds, fences, animals, basically anything that you need to run a farm.

If you have a FB account and check out Farm Town take this as my warning, it's highly addictive. But oh so much fun.

Play with Fire and you'll wet the bed

2009-07-04T11:47:00.004-04:00

Ever heard someone say that to you? Well I love fire and yay for me we have a huge bon fire area. it was quite full with the random limbs that has fallen during a storm. Branches that needed trimmed. And carpet that was ripped up from my sister's bedroom (hardwood was laid down). We decided to light it. Actually i told my sister to go get a lighter because i wanted to light it and i wanted to play in fire. Once as a kid i was so enthralled by fire i actually set the trees, that were on the side of our home, on fire. A neighbor came over and asked my dad if he knew the trees were on fire. Like, yeah, he is going to intentionally set the trees that were no more than 6 inches away from the house on fire. Just let me say i was in SO much trouble. And that is when spanking wasn't a big deal.

Father's Day Gift

2009-06-24T14:01:00.004-04:00

Not my idea but it was well recieved. Brian LOVED it. And because i didn't have any masculine wrapping paper, I just turned over some paper and the kids personalized it for him.

Thanks Beki, for the great idea! Check out Beki's blog, she's super creative Pampering Beki.

An Ah-ha moment

2009-06-17T17:33:00.004-04:00

It finally dawned on me why i was feeling so crappy. PMS! well, duh! But i guess it wasn't any old PMS, this was pms from hell. I got my little monthy visitor on the 15th. It seemed a little soon and so i looked in my planner and it was the 15th of last month that i started as well. Then another bit of an ah-ha moment. For the first time in (almost) 4 years since Tyler was born it was a normal cycle. Not a 43 day or longer cycle. It was a month, 30 days. Geez, no wonder my body was in shock. Oh well, now i have some Xanax for when the kids are driving me especially batty.

(my title is making me want to sing Ah-ha's "Take on me")

Update

2009-06-15T16:54:00.002-04:00

still not much going on here. I have only taken 1 Xanax. It has helped to take the edge off. Most days i can only tolerate so much. I just want to sleep away my day so i don't have to deal with the stress, crap, anxiety, whatever. I try not too as the dr. told me that my sleep patterns really throw the balance of Bipolar disorder off.

i actually went out of the house today with the 2 kids. I planned on making this for Father's Day. So we went out to Michael's to grab some supplies. Ya know the D and the A. I also got a 3 picture frame. It was mis-marked so i got it for $3.97 instead of $5.99 that it was supposed to be. The kids were good, i bribed them with McDonald's. No fights, no backtalking, no anxiety for me.

XANAX

2009-06-12T22:57:00.002-04:00

I am now taking xanax for my anxiety. I have only taken one so far. It has helped me to calm down and relax. However, i am only prescribed 1 pill a day as needed. . I don't know how that is going to work.

I called my dr. and they were not able to get me in any sooner than my standing appointment which is in July. Ok so by then i may just have divorced my husband and ran away to Mexico. However they did put me on a "cancel list" and the dr. called me today. She can't understand why i am feeling like i am. Because obviously, i don't know what i am talking about because I am on the highest dose of lithium and "should" be stable. (can you hear my bitchy, aggitated, pissed off attitude?) Well I am not stable right now. I want to ring necks and rear end people who drive 2 miles under the speed limit in front of me . I am restless and irritable. I don't have the patience for stupid shit. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with me. I am like this all the time. That's how i homeschool and am able to deal. Not lately. Cuz there's something not right.

In a funk

2009-06-08T15:30:00.002-04:00

Don't really know why i am in a funk, but that is the nature of the beast known as Bipolar disorder. I never really know when it is going to sneak up on me. It has totally caught me off guard this time.

Saturday i was feeling restless, bored, agitated, a little on the manic side or so i thougt. I slept alot that day just to be able to cope with my feelings. The feelings inside my head and my body are tiring me out. I slept most of the day on Sunday and as well as today. I can feel myself heading for a depressed state. At first i thought i may be hearded into the mania side of my disorder, but now that i look at it i am going in reverse. I need to call my dr, however I can't afford $120 for 20 minutes to see her.

Now that i look at all the symptoms combined, I think i am having a mixed state. Where i am having both feelings of mania and depression at once. That would explain the restlessnes, racing thoughts, yet the sleepiness, depression and other drepressed thoughts.

Pizza, s'mores and electric stealing ghosts

2009-06-03T20:56:00.004-04:00

What a night Tuesday night was. Semi- homemade pizza, ooey-gooey smores and a hell of a thunderstorm.
First dinner, pizza, semi-homemade. Cheese for the kids, cuz they are picky like that. For hubs and I, a bbq chicken pizza. Yum! I picked up a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store for the pizza but you could use leftover chicken if you have any. BBQ sauce instead of the pizza sauce. Sliced green peppers, mushrooms and red onion. All under a blanket of monterrey jack cheese. The crust was a premade crust that comes in a package of 2. We all enjoyed the pizza.

I ~~bribed~~ told the kids if they ate their dinner that we could make s'mores. You see i have been craving them, for some odd reason. And no i am not pregnant! Just wanted a golden brown marshmallow smothered with melted chocolate and smooshed between 2 crunchy graham crackers. The kids ate (i knew they would, it was pizza. Why do you think i made pizza?) So we set out to the rock fire pit and i tried my damnedest to get a fire going. It had rained the night before and all the sticks that we put in the pit were damp. Finally i got the fire going. Just call me "Sparky".

After we had our fill of sticky marshmallows we headed inside because we could hear the rumble of thunder in the distance.

Kids to bed and finally the rain started. Lightly at first, becoming harder and faster as the storm approached. Lots of lightening and thunder. Our power flickering, i knew that eventually it would go off because it always does. I grabbed a candle and lighter and prepared ourselves. Finally about 11:30 pm the electric went out. Soon after the whole house went black I heard a scream, a little boy scream. He was so scared and was convinced that the ghosts stole his power. He was crying uncontrollably. I had to comfort him in the candle light.

About after 10 minutes or so the power came back on. At this point i was still trying to convince tyler that there are no ghosts and they didn't steal his power. I put him back to bed, tucked him in and sat with him for a while. Talking of the storm, listening to the ka-booms and watching the lightening light up the sky. Finally as the storm drifted away so did my little guy. I kissed him on the forehead and snuck out of his room.

Summer Boredom Buster

2009-06-03T11:42:00.002-04:00

For me it's not just summer time that i hear "Mom, I'm bored". Since we homeschool I hear that at least once a week. One of my best and time tested boredom busters is a scavenger hunt. Sometimes I will come up with a list on my own. Or sometimes i will find a list off the internet. One of the best websites i have found is here. They have lists for inside, outside, parties, holidays and more. I give the kid an old ice cream bucket, tote bag or plastic grocery bag and turn her loose. Sometimes, if i am feeling rather nice i will let her take the digi camera outside and take pictures of everything instead of collecting it. In the end a nice cold popsicle or other frozen treat is most wanted prize.

This is what works for me to help with the "Mom I'm Bored". Check out We are THAT Family for more tips to help curb summer boredom.

A little boy needs help

2009-05-30T10:01:00.003-04:00

Fellow blogging mommies a little boy needs our help. See the button in my sidebar? That's little Ezra, he has just been diagnosed with leukemia. You can click on his button and that will take you to his mommie's blog, Manic Mother, there you can read the whole story of how this little boy was diagnosed. After you read the story you will all probably look at spiders a little differently, i know i sure do.

Flowers from my yard

2009-05-29T23:08:00.003-04:00

Beautiful pink and white peonies, white and green varigated hosta leaves and buds from a bush that i don't know the name.
In a vintage hobnail milk glass vase

They smell as lovely as they look.

And add a fresh look to the kitchen

Skeletons in my closet

2009-05-24T19:49:00.003-04:00

I really don't know where to begin. I guess i shall introduce myself, Hi my name's Karla and my mother is an alcoholic. This has always bothered me, however an incident that occurred on Friday was the last straw. Something drastic needs to happen (and soon) or my mother is going to drink herself to death.

My mother has always drank from the time that i can remember. However about 20 years ago her drinking intensified. That is when she and my father got divorced. I feel as though she has always put her drinking before her children (all 8 of us). She was never there after the divorce. Not until i turned 18, then she contacted me and wanted to start a relationship. I, being 18 and wanting a real mother, ran to her with an open mind and open heart. Wishing, wanting and hoping that something had changed in the 6 years since i has spent any time with her. Unfortunately things had only gotten worse. I was not happy being with her and i had severed a wonderful relationship that I had with my cousin, who was like my mother.

Fast forward 12 years since i was 18 and getting to know my mother again. I now live across the street from her and we rent a house from my step dad. We have an ok relationship but it isn't that mother-daughter one that i had always hoped for.

On Friday, just as soon as i was getting in the car with my 2 children to run some errands that I needed to do, i received a phone call from my mother. She was at work and needed to be picked up. Why i wondered. She said she was not feel well and her blood pressure meds were making her sick. i put my plans on hold to pick her up. As i get to her place of employment there are 2 of her friends outside both of whom i know. I ask them what is going on. My mother is falling asleep/passing out at work. (She works with machinery) and the "big guy" at work is making her leave and is not allowing her to drive. So I have to pick her up. I know this is probably only the beginning to the end. I am sure that everything will probably go downhill from here.

What do i do? Keep enabling her? Do i rescue her, like a mother should rescue a daughter? Or should i make excuses next time she needs picked up?

They are only little for such a short time

2009-05-19T23:34:00.001-04:00

In the whole big grand scheme of things. What got me thinking about this is because tyler wanted his room painted blue and redecorated with Thomas the Tank Engine. I had no problem painting his room blue because, as he told me, "Yellow is for babies and blue is for big boys" OK he was right sorta, how could i prossibly say no to that. It was that he also wanted it done in Thomas. I secretly cringed inside. I am not a big fan of character bedrooms. I can deal with sheets and pillowcases and the throw blanket. However i wanted something a little more subtle than a big blue train. That was until I came across this blog while searching for ways to put a little Thomas in his room.

As I read her story and wondered to myself why it had come up while searching for Thomas decor, i realized that it's only a room. Times change and eventually he isn't going to want Thomas anymore just like he was done with butter yellow walls and jungle print baby curtains. I will see one door open and another close as my boy walks through it. One day he's going to tell me that he is too big for Thomas and he wants yet another room makeover. However I hope that that day isn't until he is at least 8 or so. So i am diving head first and making him the best damn Thomas room that i can make him.

June 26............

2009-05-19T00:58:00.003-04:00

I saw the trailer tonight while watching CSI: Miami, instantly I knew what movie was coming out soon. I was very excited to see this tonight. It kinda gave me a little something to look forward to.

It is a book, a very amazing book. My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. I bawled my eyes out at the end and i am sure that i will cry like a baby at the movie. I think i will mark that date on my calendar and head to the theater alone.

Caterpillars and French fries

2009-05-16T11:11:00.002-04:00

Meet French fry the caterpillar. Whenever Tyler goes outside he always finds one of these caterpillars crawling around. Most of the time he can find half a dozen. They are "in season" right now. They are some kind of tent caterpillar and are in abundance. In trees, on sidewalks, on the side of the house, in wagons. Tyler picked one up and that was the first time that he did so. He excitedly exclaimed that this was his pet and his name was French Fry. Now whenever we go outside he thinks that it is the same one. He will pick it up so delicately and place it on his hand. The caterpillar will crawl up one arm, around his neck and down the other. Of course he loves this. He is such a boy!

No more cute shoes for me!

2009-05-15T21:46:00.003-04:00

I had my 2ND opinion appointment and the second Dr. wants to follow the same recommendations as the first doctor. I was fitted for orthotics and they should be in next week. I will see how this goes. I have to wear them with sneakers all the time. YUCK! No flip flops, no cute summer sandals, or sexy wedges just boring, ugly, heavy, sweaty sneakers. If this doesn't work i will have to have surgery to take the extra bone out.

However if it does work, i will be able to start walking and exercising again. Yay. I am so tired of being overweight and cutting calories alone doesn't work for me. I have to exercise.

So here's to trying to loose weight. I haven't really told anyone but y'all. I read my friend Wilma's blog and she sorta inspired me to do what i need to do. I need to get a scale because we don't own one and i know that having a scale would help me stay accountable to my weight loss. So here's to really trying now! Wish me lots of lost poundage!

Hypochondriac?

2009-05-12T20:52:00.002-04:00

I really don't think i am a hypochondriac. Maybe just very accident prone. I dunno, all i know is that i have lots of bumps and lumps and bruises all the time. My current injury is my foot. Actually it isn't current i have been dealing with this for almost 2 decades now. 20 years! It hurts and no doctors have ever been able to tell me what the hell was going on. Until now.

I went to my family Dr last week with lots of pain in my foot. It happens when i am up and very active. Normally it will hurt the day after any prolonged walking or being on my feet. So that means amusement parks, zoos, fairs, or just strolling along. My normal course of action was ice, elevation and tylenol. So anyway back to my Dr appointment. She looks at my foot and is very perplexed. You see my foot looks a little odd on the inside. Near the ankle bone, but close to the arch of my foot I have a huge lump sticking out. My doctor takes off her shoe and starts feeling her foot too. Not really knowing what the hell is wrong with me she sends me for xrays at the local hospital. Well as i figured the xrays come back just peachy. But wants me to follow up with a podiatrist.

The Internet is a great thing, sometimes. Again, the hypochondriac in me loves to self diagnose. I searched the Internet high and low for some condition that sounded like me. I tell hubby what i found and the treatment options. I tell him that i have an extra bone in my foot. It is a congenital condition and you are born with it. Normally an injury happens and aggravates this bone, which is called and Accessory Navicular. It causes problem with the tendon and caused leg pain too. Whaddya know, sounds just like me.

I go to the podiatrist and she looks at my feet and takes xrays again. She confirmed my diagnosis. I do have the extra bone in my foot and it is pulling on my tendon causing tendinitis in my leg. Now for treatment. She takes some feet scans and prescribes orthotics. That may or may not be covered by my insurance. And i will not know for another 4-6 weeks. At that time i should get a letter from the insurance company and then i have to report back to the Dr's. What a load of crap. Soooo, i made another appointment for a 2nd opinion. It is tomorrow. Hopefully this Dr. will be a little more aggressive in treatment as i am in so much pain and it effects my daily life.

Freecycle.org

2009-05-06T10:44:00.004-04:00

I love freecycle. It is a grass roots movement to keep stuff out of landfills and the such. If you haven't heard of it before, check out www.freecycle.org to find a group near you.

I have given and received many thing using freecycle, including books, toys, clothes, home decor, homeschooling supplies and much more. Just yesterday a lady came to my home and picked up 3 large Little Tykes outdoor toys that my children have now outgrown. They are now out of my back yard and into another. I didn't throw them away and someone else will get use out of them now.

For more frugal tips, check out WFMW over at We are that Family.

Yard Sale season is Under Way

2009-05-05T15:14:00.005-04:00

I am not a fanatic like some people i know, however like all true blooded Americans, i like a good deal. This past weekend was a local community's yard sale weekend. I decided to head out and see what treasures i could find. I called my sister and advised her that she was going with me.

I didn't find much at all that day. I picked up M a gymnastics Barbie from the 1996 Atlanta Olympics. The lady wanted $5 for it and it had been opened so it really wasn't worth anything to a collector (which M and I have a decent collection going), so i told her i didn't want it. As i was going down the driveway to leave she came after me and offered it to me for $2! I took it. She also gave me this picture, for free:

I really don't know why it struck my eye but it did. It is from the 50's/60's by a company called the Turner Wall Accessory. It still has the original teal tag on the back. It matches my decor with the black, white, and grey tones. Not to mention the Mid century Modern feel i am going for. And free, what's better than that?

I really didn't find much more the entire day. In the community where we were it is a small village and the homes are all together so we just parked out car at he municipal center and walked. Oh boy did my feet hurt at the end of the day. My left foot is still hurting, it is an old injury that didn't heal correctly the first time. I have been elevating it, icing it and taking tylenol. I think i may just go to the ER because i do not know what else to do, but i digress, this isn't about my foot but about my finds.

I picked up some Junie B. Jones books for M and a huge set of very old Lincoln Logs for T. I also go lucky and found a new "little puppy" for T. It is actually a beanie baby that he was given when he was born by our neighbor in Virginia. This puppy now is matted and very loved. He used to carry it everywhere and has always just called it little puppy up until a few months ago when he noticed that the tushie tag said something. He asked me what it said. It's name is Darling. I gave him the new little puppy when i got home because old little puppy got peed on. Had an accident in bed the night before and peed on little puppy, and little puppy now needed to take a spin the the washing machine. He was so excited to have a new little puppy. He is soft and fuzzy and not matted at all. Now that i am thinking about it i may just put up "old little puppy" and let him keep new little puppy. I wonder if he would really notice?

I'm Finally Done!

2009-04-25T11:13:00.003-04:00

It's been just about 7 years now and finally I am done. Done with diapers! My baby has decided that he is no longer a baby and told us very matter of factly that he didn't need diapers at night anymore. He told us that he wanted to give his dipes to baby B---a friend of ours. So that night i put him to bed sans diaper, a little apprehensive at what i would find in the morning. I reiterated to him that if he wakes up and needs to pee to come in and get Mommy or Daddy.

That night before we went to bed, hubby went in and got him from his sleep and took him to the bathroom. He peed, went back to sleep and woke up dry the next morning. This routine has now continued for a little over a month now. We are slowly increasing the time that he sleeps inbetween going potty. I would say over the next month we will not have to wake him at 10:30 or 11 to pee anymore and he will be able to wake up dry.

It's been a bittersweet journey, but one i am happy to see come to an end.

What I Really Am

2009-04-20T11:35:00.003-04:00

I try not to hide who or what i really am. I am a mother, wife, daughter, friend, and sister. I am also Bipolar. Or better yet, i have Bipolar disorder. My disorder doesn't run my life but it does make life harder.

For me bipolar disorder causes quick mood swings with more depression than mania. I am also very scatterbrained, i would say ADD, but have never been diagnosed with that even though it does coincide quite frequently with bipolar disorder. I have extreme insomnia, staying up to 2-3am every night and taking forever to fall asleep once i am in bed. Some nights my mind races with so many thoughts that it seems as though i am on a tilt-o-whirl at the carnival. There are many nights that i count as slow as possible to fall asleep. I do odd math problems in my head to try to get my mind away from the lists of things that i want and need to do.

I have battled depression and mental disorders since i was about 14. At 14 i was diagnosed with major clinical depression after many traumatic events. I was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder when i was 28, only 2 years ago. I have been on different combinations of meds. I currently take 3 different medications and it seems to work pretty good. It does pretty much suck to know that i will be on meds for the rest of my life. I have thought of trying something more natural but then if that doesn't work i have been told that the Lithium that i currently take will not work as effectively if i have to go back on it.

Some days i struggle, i won't lie, i won't sugarcoat it. It's hard, damn hard. I go off on my husband quite regularly. I see my shrink every 2 months. Sometimes i forget my meds. I worry that my children will be have this disorder. Every time one of them has a meltdown or a mood swing i wonder if they too are bipolar.

This is just a small view of my life and my disorder. It is much more complex than most people think. Do i wonder what my life would be like without Bipolar in my life? Sure. Do i wish i wasn't bipolar? Honestly, i don't know. For me, my disorder is who i am.

It's been 3 ½ years

2009-04-16T21:19:00.004-04:00

And he finally had to get antibiotics. I think that is a pretty good record.

Tyler has been so sick for the past few days. At one point he was running a fever of 102.9°f that was so stubborn even with alternating Tylenol and Motrin wouldn't break. A cool bath didn't even help. He has never been this sick. Laying around, not eating, not sleeping well. I was worried about him at this point. I called the pediatrician, who by the way is fantastic, and they got him in the next day. We got there and since he has never really been to the doctor before, he was scared. Tyler told me he was afraid that he was going to get cut open. (because of hubby's surgeries) I reassured him that the Dr. wasn't going to cut him open and he went on playing with his Matchbox cars and didn't give it a second thought.

He seems to have an upper respritory type infection. A little fluid behind the eardrum, but technically not an infection YET. So she prescribed some Amoxicillian.

The good news is that after 2 full days on the medication i am seeing an improvement in him. He is eating more and he even asked to go out and play today. Hopefully this was just a one time thing and it will be another 3½ years before he needs to go back to the dr.

Random Easter Shots

2009-04-16T20:47:00.008-04:00

A little spring cleaning

2009-04-09T17:20:00.001-04:00

Everyone needs to freshen up for spring, right? Megan decided she wanted her hair cut. She has never really had her hair this short except for when she was little and growing it out.

So yesterday i took both of them to get hair cuts. I could see the excitement in Megan's eyes as she sat in the chair, looking at herself, a little apprehensively. With the first snip, and as the hair fell she began getting more giddy. She was down right ecstatic with the results.

Before:

After:

What a Pain

2009-04-09T17:10:00.002-04:00

Literally. And it has been in my back. My lower back. And it sucks.

I don't know how i hurt myself all i remember is that i got out of the car and stepped down with my foot and i got electric up my back. I went to the dr. Really can't tell much without an MRI or anything but she thought it was muscle related. Prescribed some muscle relaxers and rest.

I felt good a few days ago so i stopped taking the muscle relaxers. And of course don'tcha know i woke up this morning, rolled over and there was that pinchy electric feeling again. YEOUCH!

Hubby came in and pushed on where he thought it hurt, as he is well versed in back pain he has 7 slipped disks. He pinpointed the pain on the first try. He now thinks that i have a disk out of whack and need to go back to the dr.

For now i am lying low--- on the couch and chillin'.

CraigsList is awesome!

2009-04-05T20:32:00.004-04:00

I don't know if i have ever professed my love for craigslist before. But i am in love with a website. I check each day what new has been posted. I check not only once but many times a day. Last week i checked and i saw some fantastic chairs. They were perfect. They are just what i had been looking for. They are small and compact, a definate plus for our small living room. They are roundish, just the shape i was looking for.

You first have to get past the 70's orange. They will be redone in black. I think they will end up being very retro-modern to go with the rest of my living room that has just been redone. The finished chairs will flank the window. The color of the living room is much more gray than blue as it looks in the pic below. The little ottoman/side table will be put in between them.

I can't wait until they are done. I think they will make a fantastic addition to the living room.

Our Day with the Dinosaurs

2009-03-30T17:31:00.006-04:00

One rainy day last week we decided to pack up and head to the museum downtown. The dinosaur exhibit was in town. It wasn't as expected, but fun. Tyler was a little scared with all the noises as it was an animatronic exhbit. Megan had fun making them move with different buttons.

There were only 2 or 3 large skeletons there. However we learned alot. I remember in school that we really only learned about a handful of dinosaurs. Now there are dinos that i have never even heard of. Yangchuanosaurus (yang-chew-ON-a-saw-rus) below

Good ole Triceratops

All in all we had a nice day, however it was a little too cartoonish for me to really enjoy. Even M was disappointed that there weren't more bones to look at. It definately was not worth the $50 for all 4 of us to go.

Whoever coined the term Terrible 2's

2009-02-22T12:19:00.002-05:00

Definately had not yet dealt with a 3 year old. Ugh, i don't think M was THIS BAD when she was 3. T is definately something else. But then again he is a boy and she is a girl, maybe that could have something to do with the whole difference in attitude.

He is a mouthy boy. Quite frequently after he is punished or reprimanded you will hear in a tiny voice "Don't say those words to me!" he doesn't scream them, in fact sometimes he whispers them, as if he has to get the last word in. Then last night I was cooking dinner and waiting for hubby to come home. Dinner was finished so i went to the living room to watch the news at 6pm. Tyler had been watching Noggin so i could cook with out a little one under my feet. When changing the channel he screamed and cried. And finally said " Just go back to the kitchen and cook." I lost it and bust out laughing so hard. That was great reasoning from a 3 year old. That if i went back to the kitchen to cook, i'd turn Noggin back on. Pretty smart kid.

Now don't get me started on the food problems. Getting this kid to eat dinner is practically impossible. Actually about the only way he has been eating dinner for the past 2 weeks is for breakfast. We didn't know what else to do, he would hold out on dinner and then fill up for breakfast and lunch on cereal, pancakes, fruit, PB sandwiches, craisins and whatever else. Finally hubby decided that if he didn't eat his dinner for dinner, he will eat it for breakfast, THEN he can have whatever he wants for breakfast. About 50% of the time he is now eating his dinner for breakfast.

There are a few reasons why we started this. The first reason, we were throwing out WAY too much food on a daily basis that he wasn't eating. The second reason is that everyone at our table eats the same thing for dinner. I am not a short order cook!

I truly cannot wait for this phase to pass. Although i know it is becuase he is growing up, not quite a baby anymore but not a "big" kid either. But i do know one thing, when this is done i will be so happy.

Groceries for the week... after using MommySnacks website

2009-02-21T12:44:00.004-05:00

As i was saying in an earlier post about the great blog i found Mommysnacks.net, i gathered up the coupons that i had and headed to 2 grocery stores. The first grocery store i went to, Meijer, i basically went to get bread. After the coupons i got 4 loaves of bread for $.25 each. I got a few other things, chicken, pork chops and beef were all on sale at a reasonable price. I also got some pantry staples that i had coupons for. When all done and paid, i spent $50.18 but in coupons and in-store sales saved $26.78. Not bad.

Later on that same day i went to Kroger's. I had more coupons for them as they had more on sale that we actually needed. Some of the best bargains were Cheerios for $.67 a box after sale and coupon. I grabbed 4 boxes. Who could blame me? I also picked up 2 boxes of Go-gurt yogurt for the kids at $1 a box. They were on sale 2 for$4 and i used 2 $1off coupons.

I also picked up deli meat, asparagus, zucchini, lettuce, (we already had lots of fresh fruit at home) After all was totalled up I spent $40.01...... I saved by using coupons in conjunction with store sales and specials........ drum roll please... $39.01...... almost 50%!!!!

Let's just say my husband was besides himself when i brought in 5 large reusable bags plum full to the top and i only spent 40 bucks!

Homeschool Math...... Oreo Style

2009-02-18T16:22:00.011-05:00

Megan has never been in a formal learning atmosphere. I enjoy teaching her, well, for the most part. She is a very intelligent little girl when it comes to anything phonics or reading. In fact, she taught herself to read. She loves science and history as well. Math, now that is another story. I understand that everyone learns different skills at a different pace. However I am at my wits end with math.

We have been working quite hard on the concept of subtraction, she just doesn't get it. She uses number lines, different objects as counters that she can physically manipulate herself, and anything else that we can think of to help her grasp the concept of subtraction.

Lo and behold, i think the light bulb finally came on last night. Brian and Megan were sitting at the table, brian doing a puzzle and Megan eating some strawberries. Brian also had 3 Oreo cookies, he popped one in his mouth. A few seconds later Megan proudly exclaimed "I get it Daddy, you had 3 cookies, you ate one cookie and now you have 2 cookies left" I was amazed. I know she is 7, but for some reason she really struggles with the basic concepts of math. I am so proud of her and finally i can see all my hard work starting to payoff. I might just have to buy the kid some more Oreo cookies.

Another great find for me! Cha-ching!

2009-02-17T21:59:00.004-05:00

Maybe some of you noticed that there is a new blog in my listings. It is called MommySnacks.net. It sounds kinda weird but this blog by a local (to me) lady, Andrea, is AWESOME!

Her blog is all about saving money via coupons. She matches the coupons up to the stores that have the sales and let me know what is the best deals. Great. I saw her on the local news a while back on a segment called "Don't waste your money". The name of the blog never left my mind so i checked it out. Wowzers! I found deals on things that i buy when i go to the grocery store. Progresso Soup, General Mills cereals, breads and more. That's just this week. I have a coupon for Aunt Millie's bread for 50 cents off, well the local store Meijer's has them on sale for 1.25 loaf AND they double coupons, so that means that they loaves are a quarter a piece. Yep, you read that right, TWENTY-FIVE CENTS a loaf a bread, for the good stuff. NO HFCS and fiber.

For once i am syked about going to the grocery store. I wanna see how much i can actually save using coupons, now that i found an easier way to do it. And right now with hubby not having a job and we are pinching pennies as much as we can, this should help out. We shall see! i will report back here after i go grocery shopping and let you all know my savings!

Great Family Game

2009-02-15T19:23:00.005-05:00

Blokus! Doesn't matter if you call it "Blow-kuss" or " block-us". I call it fun. OK that sounds like a lame plug for the game, but really it is fun, addicting and makes you use your noggin. We have been wanting this game since we saw it at Christmastime. But of course it was one of the "had to have" toys of the year. So we waited. We finally picked it up at Target today. Once home we were so ready to put the little one down for a nap so we could play the game. It says for ages 5 and up. And yes i agree that a 5 year old could play it. My 7 year old had fun. Lots of fun. As did hubby and I both.

The strategy of the game is to get as many of your pieces onto the game board. The pieces are "tetris-like" in shape, each piece containing anywhere from 1-5 blocks in various patterns. The only rule is that they can only touch at the corners of the same color, the cannot share a side. That one rule makes for some pretty interesting play. Again sounding a little pluggish, the games gets a bunch of thumbs up from us!

No Longer a Virgin!

2009-02-12T11:49:00.003-05:00

An IKEA virgin that is. You silly... get your mind out of the gutter, i have 2 children.

We finally decided to take the plunge, as it has been about a year since a new IKEA went up about 20 minutes from us. Neither hubby or I had ever been to an IKEA and i have always heard that they are a really cool place with affordable furniture and home furnishings.

We leave home and about 20 minutes later we see the unmistakable blue and yellow building from the interstate, looming in the distance. We get off at the exit and make our way to IKEA.

Once inside we were very confused. To our right is the childcare and i tried with all my might to unload the kids on some stranger. Unfortunately hubby didn't want them to go. He started off to the left side and i saw the escalator and a sign pointing up to the showrooms. I urged them up the escalator. When we hopped off the escalator, it was bright, colorful and just about a sensory overload. Very overwhelming. Soon i start browsing. I think the couches and living room furniture was first. I saw someone taking a digital pic of some sofas, that is when it hit me, damn it, i forgot my camera. I knew i was going to be blogging about my adventures and forgot my camera.

We rambled and bumbled around. Hubby was so very much into looking at the kitchen set-ups. He loved all the modern-ness of all the chrome and glass. I liked some of the cool storage designs. There were some really cool ideas. He also loved the loft beds for the kids. For some reason, unbeknownst to me, he had never seen or heard of a loft bed. Strange, i know. But he was taken aback by the sheer idea.

We finally finish with the top level, checking out all the sofas, mattresses and kitchens. By now the kids were tired and bouncing and hubby and i were both ready for them to have some time alone. They too were ready for the play area. So i dropped them off and signed them in. Ya know what, it was strange to be alone with hubby and not have the kids.

We picked up a few things and talked about the possibilities of others. All in all it was a great day for everyone. We will definitely be going back soon, if not to buy anything just to have another adventure.

Old Fashion Family Time

2009-01-27T16:56:00.003-05:00

with hubby being out of work and no money coming in, times are getting rough. No going out to eat, no fun outings, nothing. Now, it's not like we went out to eat every night or went out to party all the time but we liked to have fun.

With daddy being home, Megan has been especially clingy and wanting to do things with him. After all, she is a daddy's girl. So yesterday while the heathen was napping she wanted to attempt a 550 piece jigsaw puzzle with daddy. Fine. She had asked me numerous times to do it with her but normally I do not have the patience for large puzzles and by that i mean puzzles with more than 25 pieces. So out comes the puzzle, she tears of the plastic like she has never seen anything so fascinating before. Daddy helps her open the inside bag and they begin to examine the pieces. Finding all the edge pieces first and separating them.

At this time i am either doing laundry or watching tv or something. I wander into the kitchen to be sucked into the puzzle. We are all searching for pieces to match the one that we hold. Before I know it, it is 5 o'clock. Time for dinner and they need to clear the puzzle off the table.

After dinner and the little boy was put to bed about 7:30, out come the puzzle again. We worked on it, turned the television off and enjoyed some family time. Add in some homemade rice krispy squares and we had a nice evening. We finally finished the puzzle about 10:30pm.

What the kids look like when Daddy dresses them

2009-01-24T19:13:00.004-05:00

'Nuff said.

Blogger is really frickin pissin me off!

2009-01-15T16:57:00.002-05:00

I have been trying to upload lots of good pictures lately. Christmas, Megan's birthday and others. But everytime i try to upload i get the same damn message, Internet explorer cannot display page. Grrrrr.... that is one reason i stopped blogging for a while, everytime i want to add pics, i cannot. Grrrrrrrrr

Crafty Me-- I spy bags

2008-11-20T23:36:00.003-05:00

Some of you may have seen these, they sell on Etsy.com for an insane amount of money when you consider in what it actually takes to make them but they are oh so cute. They are based on the popular I Spy books that children love. So with my wicked sewing skillz i headed to the closest fabric store and picked up a small remnant of super soft cute fleece and a piece of heavy gauge vinyl.

I sewed it all up and put some random trinkets that i found around the house and filled it halfway or so with Poly-Pellets. I have seen them made with rice just for the Eco factor, but i like the way the pellets look.

I made a tag with all the contents and attached it via an eyelet placed in the corner. The whole project took less than 1 hour to complete.

I tested it out with my sister who is 17, she loved it. So i am sure that my 3-6 year olds that i am making them for will love them as well. Wonderful handmade Christmas gifts.

Top Ten Things to do When You Are Sick

2008-11-08T12:43:00.003-05:00

I have been battling this cold for 3 weeks now and i was getting worse so i decided to make myself a dr appointment. I have bronchitis. Yuck! I am on the lovely Z-pack antibiotics and already feeling the side effects. So this weekend is going to be spent mostly in bed and on the couch, doctor recommendations.

Here's what i will be doing this weekend:

Sleeping
Sitting on the couch and watching tv/movies
Reading
Word Searches
Computer time
Making jewelry
Make hubby wait on me
Sleep
Sleep
Sleep

Hopefully after a weekend of strong antibiotics, rest and lots of fluids i will have this kicked. If i am not showing signs of improvement on Monday I am to report back to dr to make sure it isn't pneumonia.

finally back

2008-10-27T20:52:00.002-04:00

i have been so busy. Now so sick. At first i was busy with the fall carnival for gymnastics. I manned the Chocolate Fountain table. Oh my, was that the dream job. We sold dip-able items 4 for $1. It went over better than anyone expected. We made a ton on melted chocolate and various fruits, pretzels, cakes and cookies.

We also had a silent auction that raised lots of money. I was busy making handmade jewelry to auction off. I also put together a bath and body gift set with private massage in your home.

Once the carnival was done, i then had to start working on 7 scrapbooks for 7 little soccer stars. I had almost 200 pictures that i had taken of them. I ordered them and picked them up. Sorted them and put together scrapbooks for each little girl. The party was on Saturday and all the girls loved the pictures.

I am now done with all of the commitments for right now. Until November. That is when Daisy Scouts starts and i have volunteered to co-lead. I also want to make a lot of the Christmas gifts this year as i can't seem to find just the right gift for the kids. But i will worry about that a little later on.

Relationship Chaos

2008-10-15T14:27:00.004-04:00

This is going to be quite rambling so bear with me or don't read!

Yes i am talking about my marriage. It seems so perfect on the outside but once in the comfy confines of our home you will see a different picture. The real picture. Hubby is not happy with me, i am not happy with him. He is not happy with me because I have "changed". I am not the sexual being that i was when we first started going out. He, well, is just not the same person either.

I know, i know time changes everything. For me the changes are huge, I am now a SAHM, whereas before i was a working girl 8+ hours a day was nothing for me. This SAHM thing wears me out! Also another big thing for me is that I have been dx'ed as having Bipolar Disorder and have been on medication since 2007. However before that i was on meds since 2004 for depression. The combo of the meds and the constant whining, cleaning, and kids do nothing for the libido.

I need help, how do i save my marriage? At this point hubby wants a girl on the side to get his rocks off, but come home to me? He said that i backed out of the deal. The deal being, since we were married he gets sex whenever. I told him NO WAY is he ever going to have an open marriage, i will not consent to that! If i find out that he has ever done that I told him that will be the last of us.

I just don't know what to do anymore, we have been going round and round like this for almost 6 years now (since shortly after M was born). I do know that i have lots of regrets of not being able to "live". I met hubby when i was barely 19. He moved in with me only after dating for 3 months because his parents were moving out of state and he couldn't afford to live on his own. We lived together for 2 1/2 years and got married when i was 21. M came 2 days after my 23rd birthday.

I just am at my wits end. I don't know what to do. I know everyone is going to say marriage counseling. I just don't know if that is going to work because as i see it, hubby isn't going to budge and he WILL NOT take any excuses as to why i don't want sex. Which is really frustrating to me. He says they are all just excuses and nothing more. Ackkkkkkkkk What do i do?

Seriously, could I be any more exhausted?

2008-10-12T20:39:00.002-04:00

I am sure that i have been more exhausted in the past, however today would be in the top 5. Soccer tournaments this weekend. Megan played yesterday in the "winners" bracket. They lost. I didn't go to the game so i didn't see what exactly went wrong other than it was a 9am and the girls just were not awake. So i guess to be nice to the kids, or maybe torture the parents the soccer organization decided they wanted a "losers" bracket. Great so even though they lost yesterday, we had to go back today to play other losers of yesterdays games.

Hubby and I decided that he would stay home with Tyler and I would take Megan to soccer. She had a game at 2 pm and that game was a sure thing because the team they were playing hadn't won a game all season. Of course they won 8-0. So next game was at 4:30.

We went and relaxed with some of the other girls from the team, got a snack. When it was time we headed to the field to play only to be told that they are one game behind. UGH, so it was an hour wait. The girls were restless and tired. We all sat down and watched the other team play.

Finally it was our turn to play. The girls took the field and we parents placed our chairs on the sidelines to cheer on our girls. The girls were tough, they hustled and played like there was no tomorrow. Half time came and it was tied 2 all. They knew what they had to do. Lots of kicking and passing and getting close to the goal. Their goalie was on the mark. Never letting one by. Finally we scored, 3-2. So many times we were close to scoring again. But it didn't happen. The other team did though. Tied 3-3. Just as the girls were kicking off after a goal, the ref called time for the game. Ack! All the parents were rallied on the sidelines asking each other what happens now. They ended up playing 4 on 4 no goalie first one score wins, 5 minutes. No one scored the first 5 minutes. So next they took a player out, so it ended up 3 on 3. Our girls played their little hearts out. Unfortunately the other team scored first. Our girls were crushed. There were 3 of them that were crying and all the others were visibly upset.

So our soccer season stops today. A little (ok a big) part of me is relieved. I didn't want to drive to anymore tournaments/games/practices. I don't want to have to spend my whole weekend at the soccer fields. I wanna do what I wanna do. Is that too much to ask?

They are still #2 in the division for regular season with a record of 8-2. Pretty impressive for seven 7 year old girls

Menu Planning Monday

2008-10-06T17:58:00.011-04:00

So busy this weekend i just now planned my menu for the week. It really helped last week. No last minute rushing around to find something to cook for dinner. So it seems like i will now be a regular at orgjunkie.com with my menus each week.

So here is my menu for the week.

Monday: Bacon Broccoli Quiche (in the oven now) with some home fries

Tuesday: Burgers and pasta salad w/fresh veggies

Wednesday: Oven Roasted chicken w/mashed taters (my kids could eat those everyday) and veggies probably green beans.

Thursday: Potato soup w/chives and the bacon left from the quiche

Friday: Chicken pot pie made from left over chick from wednesday.

Weekend : who knows as M has soccer tournaments and could possibly have 3 games on saturday and more on sunday. Probably eat out or leftovers.

Visit orgjunkie.com for more menu ideas.

Scrumptious Apple Dip

2008-10-01T19:55:00.002-04:00

I love the fall. The weather is turning cooler. I start making "comfort food" again. Apples are in season. We love apples around here and especially with a yummy fluffy peanut buttery apple dip. Here's the recipe:

1 tub cool whip. I normally use fat free but i have also used extra creamy.
1/2 cup plain yogurt
1/2 cup peanut butter

mix yogurt and peanut butter together . When mixed thoroughly add peanut butter mixture to cool whip and mix together. Enjoy with apples, carrots, celery, bananas or whatever else you choose. You can also substitute the yogurt with cream chesse, just mix it up really well with the peanut butter. Enjoy!

I registered to vote today.

2008-09-30T13:21:00.001-04:00

I know, I know, it is my right that I vote for my national, state and local governmental officials, laws and issues. The right that so many women before me fought for. The right that so many women around the world do not have. So while at the library in between picking out a Jodi Picoult bestseller and rounding up Ezra Jack Keats books for a critical thinking lesson, I filled out the simple voter registration card. I am proud of myself. I am almost 30 years old and have never voted. That means I have missed 2 presidential elections and numerous state and local elections. But until now I have never given it a second thought.

I am thinking now. I am paying close attention to the debates and interviews. I read what i can on the candidates. But i am also skeptical. I have always thought of politicians to be "crooked" and how do you know when you can believe them? Maybe that is why i have never cared to vote before, because I don't believe any of them.

It is just a little more than a month away from Election Day and i am not sure who i am going to vote for. Do I vote for who my gut tells me to or do I vote for one of the more obscure candidates such as Bob Barr for the libertarian or Chuck Baldwin for the Constitution Party,the Green Party nominee Cynthia McKinney or good 'ol Ralph Nader who is running as an independent?

According to selectsmart.com I am in 62% agreement with Bob Barr and a close second at 57% is McCain. All I know is that in the next month and 4 days I will be researching and reading alot regarding our presidential canidates.

Menu Planning Monday

2008-09-29T00:14:00.004-04:00

Each day i rush around abut 5'oclock and ask everyone what they want for dinner. Mmmm, i don't know... food. So i have finally decided to start just making a list and sticking to it. I work much better from lists. Recently I happened upon this little blog. Wow is this for me or what? So my first try at MPM lets see how good i can stick to it.

Monday: Cheesy Chicken Enchiladas

Tuesday: Baked or Grilled honey mustard pork chops, steamed veggie

Wednesday: Meatloaf and super stuffed taters and steamed veggie

Thursday: Hot Buffalo Chicken Sandwiches w/celery and carrot sticks

Friday: Chili and cornbread

I'm in love...with a major appliance

2008-09-26T11:37:00.007-04:00

Just recently our 35 year old dryer went out, it smelled as if it were burning our clothes instead of just drying them. So out we went to price new dryers. In the begining we were just going to get a cheap-o dryer to go with our aging washer. However when we began to really think about it we decided to get a new matching pair.

So off to Lowes, Home Depot, H H Gregg and Sears. Price compare and do our homework. We ended up getting the Whirlpool Duet Sport. Let me just tell you, I LOVE THEM!

I love them for many reasons

2 loads of laundry in the old washer equals one load in the new washer. It has a HUGE capacity.
Way less detergent, i have had the same bottle since we bought them in JULY
Energy Star rated washer
Front loader... the kids fight over who gets to help, which means i don't usually have to do laundry except pour the detergent in.
the dryer is exceptionally quick, 35 minutes i think is what it takes to dry a normal load

I've been tagged!

2008-09-25T12:52:00.005-04:00

I've been tagged by Wilma

Were you married at the time? Yes.
What were your reactions when you found out you were pregnant?Happy scared, not ready to be a parent

How old were you? 22
How did you find out you were pregnant? Home pregnancy test.
Who did you tell first?Brian he was laying in bed when i got up in the morning to take it.
Did you want to find out the sex? NO
Due date: Jan 7,2002

Did you deliver early or late?early due to being induced

Did you have morning sickness?Just nausea and puked 2times
What did you crave? Taco Bell, chocolate
Who irritated you the most?Dunno, probably hubby
What was your first child’s sex?Female
How many pounds did you gain throughout the pregnancy?35ish give or take
Did you have any complications during your pregnancy? Was induced for pre-eclampsia, at 39weeks

Where did you give birth?In a hospital.
How many hours were you in labor?23
Who drove you to the hospital? I went straight from a dr appointment and my cousin was with me since i was supposed to be on bedrest. So technically she drove me.
Who watched?Brian and the nurses and dr's but do they really count?
Was it vaginal or c-section?Vaginal
Medication?Epidural and some narcotic before i got my epi
How much did your child weigh?5 lbs 12 oz, so tiny.
What did you name him/her?Megan Renee

How old is your first born today?6 almost 7

since i think all my bloggy friends have already been tagged, if you want to play along copy and paste and tag your friends.

I sold my first piece of jewelry!

2008-09-25T11:54:00.002-04:00

I sold that little pink and green number below. Both the bracelet and the earrings. I was showing them to a fellow mom at gymnastics this morning and she just kept raving about it. She then asked me how much. Since it was my first i sold them both for $10. I am so ecstatic. I know it isn't much but it is getting me out there.

The reason why i had my jewelry at gymnastics is because i offered to make some to donate to the gym to sell at a silent auction. The owners of the gym loved it and "Miss Tessa" (the coach) kept telling her hubby that she likes this and this and loves all green, teals and turquoise. LOL...Was she hinting at Christmas gifts maybe? She kept saying how professional and original it looks.

More Handmade Jewelry

2008-09-23T11:37:00.000-04:00

Handmade bracelet on memory wire in all shades of blue, sliver and clear. All glass beads and silver metal

Pink and Green glass beads with silver hooks and wires. Bracelet hooks up from the end so there is a dangle of beads.

Earrings are round silver hoops with pink and green glass bead dangle in the middle.

White Peaches+ White Zinfandel=Yummy!

2008-09-22T14:26:00.003-04:00

so tasty. I had cut up a white peach for the kids and they didn't want it, so i had just poured a glass of wine and decided to plunk them in the glass. Boy was that little concoction yummy. Sorta like a sangria. I still have a glass in the fridge waiting for me!

Artsy-Fartsy Me

2008-09-19T22:01:00.005-04:00

Some blank canvases, extra scrapbook paper, boredom and a little creativity. I am thinking of a companion picture, maybe a butterfly? I don't know what i am going to do with them as they don't match megan's room? Anyone want to buy them? LOL

Happy 3rd Birthday!

2008-09-17T05:27:00.007-04:00

I really don't know what to say. It has been a whirlwind of 3 years. My little guy is growing up. He has his own mind and own opinions, he is turning into a little kid and not a baby anymore. I am not going to type the obligatory stuff about how 3 years ago you came into my life and now i don't remember life before you, because i do! Things were much easier sometimes. But would i change it, of course not. The one thing i will say is that i never realized how much fun and how much love i would have for a little boy.

I will agree with the cliche, there is just something between a momma and her boy. I never knew my heart would grow tenfold with him coming into my life. I see things now that i never saw or realized before. I never knew how much fun it was to sit on the floor and play trains. And how much joy a little guy would get out of bodily functions. I am also surprised at how much more snuggle-y you are than your sister was. You still love for me to rock you every night before bed. I am going to cherish these moments because before long you won't let me do that anymore.

First Birthday

Second Birthday

Third Birthday

Tropical Storm Ike...in Ohio?

2008-09-15T14:19:00.005-04:00

I have been thru hurricanes and tropical storms, so for me this was no biggie. I have a facsination with hurricane season, always have and always will. I follow the storms on the weather channel and frequent the National Hurricane Website, so i knew that we were in for the remnants of Ike. Little did i know that it was going to be this rough.

Lots of damage, still thousands around the tri-state area without electric. Our power came back on last night about 11:30pm. The stores that are open are out of ice and gas. I remember back to 2003 when i went thru Hurrican Isabel, very similar situation. Right now as i sit at my computer it is quiet outside except for the sound of chainsaws in the distance.

We had some close calls, almost had a tree land on my car. We have lots of trees down on our property but nothing major.

The rabbit cage blew over. Good thing, Thumper didn't get hurt.

Money is always nice

2008-09-15T10:28:00.003-04:00

Until now, that is, i have never won anything. When we signed Megan up for soccer you paid $100. $75 went towards 2 shirts and a cheap pair of soccer sock and whatever else they deem necessary. The other $25 went toward raffle tickets. Since you have already paid for them, you can either resell them and get your $25 back or just write your name on them.

We sold a few this year and didn't feel like taking the effort to sell the rest, so in a futile attempt to win some extra buckage, i furiously wrote my info on the remaining 20 or so tickets, the night before we had to turn them in.

Fast forward to Saturday. Game Saturday morning, 9am (btw, great job girls! 7-0). The raffle drawing was at 11 am. So of course we were back home by then. Later that evening as i was going out to pick up my younger sister from work, i looked at my phone and it wasn't turned out. The battery was dead. So i turned it on and for the mere seconds that it stayed on a voice message came thru. I listened quickly as i knew the battery would die any minute. To my surprise, my futile attempt to win $$$$ paid off (pun intended) I won $500 smack-a-roos! Woo-hoo.

Now i just have to get with her and get my money!

In Remembrance....

2008-09-11T09:03:00.000-04:00

I am sure that most blogs across the USA will have some type of remembrance in honor of September 11, 2001.

My memories are still vivid as if it just happened. I will never be able to erase those memories away. I was 22 weeks pregnant with my first child. It was a warm beautiful late summer day with not a cloud in the sky. I was happy and joyful, in fact I was downright giddy. The day before the husband and I had gone to the OB's office for our BIG ultrasound, ya know the one, where you find out the sex of the baby. However hubby didn't want to find out. Oh well, i was happy. I had ultrasound pictures to show off at work, i was wearing some new maternity clothes, and seemingly everything was swell in my life.

Morning of September 11th I had to be at work at 11am. As I was getting ready for work i had the television on I think it was the CBS morning show to be exact. I was back and forth between the kitchen and the master bedroom. For some reason I was in the living room and i was sitting on the coffee table watching the news and that is when they pre empted regular broadcasting and started showing New York City live. I sat there watching in awe, amazement and anger. How in the world? Why in the world? I was shocked. I just watched and watched. I saw the 2nd plane hit the south tower. We all by now know the horrific scene that i am talking about. I immediately called hubby as he was already at work. I was hysterical. Crying, wondering what kind of person is bringing a baby into the world at a time like this. He calmed me down and reassured me that everything was going to be OK.

It has now been 7 years since our world has changed. Unfortunately we will never be able to live in the once naive society that we once were.

My newest hobby

2008-09-10T09:27:00.003-04:00

Megan went to a birthday party of a friend last weekend. We really don't know said friend very well but she is on her soccer team and Megan really wanted to go. No biggie. So what do we get a 7 year old little girl who we really don't know much about? Well, we had a catalog here of jewelry and it had a little soccer charm bracelet in it. So i copied it the best that i could and personalized it with the little girl's initial. It turned out very cute. Of course i forgot to take a pic of it before i so expertly wrapped it in some very cute soccer scrapbooking paper.

Megan said that everyone at the party loved the bracelet. I may just have to ask P's mom if i could get a pic of it. However i decided to take a shot at some other jewelry. So i made 2 pairs of earrings. My teenage sisters and their friends love them. My mom said they are very cute. What do you think?

Thanks Marie! We are in Thomas heaven!

2008-09-09T14:18:00.007-04:00

Your package arrived last week. I wanted to get some train pics to show you how very much the trains and tracks will be loved and appreciated. Thank you again!

Super Soccer Star Megan

2008-09-07T13:24:00.002-04:00

Let me just say that I am so proud of my girl. This is her 3rd season (fall 07, spring 08 and now fall 08), this season she has a different coach and oh boy has she improved dramatically! She is now getting in the pack and going after the ball. She has always been scared of the ball before, however i think we have now gotten over the fear. I am just really proud of her and the rest of the "Queen Cobras". They are now 3-1 for the season so far and two of the three games that they have won were shut-outs! 3-1, 7-0 and 8-0! What an awesome bunch of 6 & 7 year old girls!

Toddler Mispronunciations

2008-09-04T15:05:00.003-04:00

Tyler wanted to watch a movie instead of taking a nap. I was ok with that since he usually doesn't nap anymore. So right now they are sitting on the couch watching Tyler's choosen movie which is "Buzz LightBeer" LOL He wanted to watch Toy Story. Hehe.

September

2008-09-03T23:37:00.005-04:00

So many things come to mind when i think of September. Summer ending, school starting, apples, fall, crisp and cool air. I think of September 11th. I remember back to that fateful day when our world as we knew it changed forever. I can still remember it like it was just yesterday, what was going on and what i was doing. But that is not the only thing that i think of when i think of September.

My baby's birthday is September 17th. Also that is my grandparents anniversary. The year that i was pregnant with him my grandfather died suddenly and i never got to say good bye. I was holding grudges towards him that i shouldn't have and it was stupid. I was living 700 miles away from the rest of the family and i didn't even know that he had lung cancer. He died on his 74th birthday. June 21st. I was due September 21st and i hoped and prayed that baby boy would be born on his due date. That would of been 3 months to the day that my grandpa passed. But instead he was born on what would have been their 56th wedding anniversary. In a way i feel like my grandpa was saying that all was ok between me and him.

September, to me, is like the changing of the guard. I love the fall and i love September.

I need Help...

2008-09-03T23:37:00.004-04:00

Not serious help, just help. I am a self confessed night owl. I love to be up at night, doing whatever! Last night i went to the grocery store and didn't get home until midnight. So then there is the time to put the groceries away and chill for a while in front of the computer, leading me to bed at almost 3 am. Yikes! What is the bad part? Well i have 2 children who like to wake up a little earlier than noon. So here is the part that i need help with, how do i ignore my internal clock and get to bed at a decent time to be up and ready to go anywhere between 9 and 10 am?

Anyone have any tips, short of taking sleeping meds or a nice big shot (or 2) of vodka?

Homeschooling Bonus

2008-08-31T09:20:00.003-04:00

One day last week we decided to go to a local park. It was just a beautiful day. Warm but no humidity, not a cloud in the sky. Perfect, by my definition. Also perfect was that most schools around here had already started back and the park the kids choose to go to is one of the nicest and most crowded parks in our area. It was practically empty that day. Just a few young toddlers and their caregivers. A deal was made between me and megan. She will sit at the shelter and do math work and then go play. DEAL! And she did too. She finished up 2 pages of her math book and then was able to go play.

So here are a few pics of our perfect day at the park.

Style News... It's the 80's!

2008-08-30T20:18:00.000-04:00

Even though i think the 80's was pretty cool as far as toys, music and television that is where i draw the line. The 80's had some horrendous fashion faux pas. And some of them are bound to come back reincarnated. Beware.

Scary Fashion from the 80's

Leg warmers, i think a few years ago these tried to make a reappearance.
Acid washed denim. Now that could be anything denim from skin tight jeans to jackets to the shortest mini skirts.
The Preppie Look... Izod, penny loafers/eastlands and bugle boy khakis. with the collars up as well
The Madonna look....layers and lots of them. from her necklaces to shirts and jackets. Her skirts were often layered with leggings. Lace gloves and other lace clothing.
Layered socks. Those slouch socks, i wore those layered with 2 different colors to match my outfit. Sometimes reversing the order on the other foot.
Swatch Watches... you could never wear just 1, they also had to be worn multiples at a time.
Guess Jeans. Gosh who didn't want Guess Jeans? I sure did, but when you grow up with 5 brothers and sisters you just didn't get Guess Jeans.
Any bright colors and prints.
Huge shirts worn with stirrup pants and belted with a wide belt or maybe even 2.
Shoulder Pads.... need i say more?

Anything you want to add? Banana clips, mile high bangs, tons and tons of blush and eye makeup, Aqua Net.

Television--- 80's style

2008-08-29T00:30:00.005-04:00

When everything in the world seemed better. When the shows on television weren't all reality or crime scene dramas. Back to a time when television seemed to be more family orientated. Maybe it was just me, because i was young and naive, but i really enjoyed the 80's.

My favorite "feel-good" series of the 80's are (in no particular order):

Family Ties
Silver Spoons
Cosby Show
Growing Pains
Who's the Boss
Facts of Life
Webster
Alf
Golden Girls
Punky Brewster

Music of the 80's

2008-08-28T23:49:00.004-04:00

ok so i wasn't too old during the 80's but i did have an older sister and that influenced alot of my choices since i wanted to be just like her. To this day i still prefer 80's rock/pop to any other music. So here are just a few of my faves, now and then!

Madonna
New Kids on the Block (my fave at the end of the 80's)
Bon Jovi
Skid Row
Motley Crue
Cyndi Lauper
Tears for Fears
Duran Duran
Milli Vanilli (i know they are fake, but they still had some cool music)
Prince

There are tons more that i can think of but most of them are 1 hit wonders like Soft Cell (Tainted Love), Toni Basil (Mickey), Dexy's Midnight Runners (Come on Eileen), Modern English(Melt with you) and Til Tuesday (voices carry).

My Favorite Toys of the 80's

2008-08-25T22:56:00.003-04:00

Do you see where i am going this week? I am feeling quite nostalgic and wanna go back to my childhood. Back to simpler times, when i had no worries and the world was right. (at least in my eyes) I remember most of the 80's fondly. It was before things went south in my home, before my parents got divorced, before i was corrupted, before i lost my innocence.

So here's my list of toys and games that i remember playing with in the 80's (and maybe early 90's)

Barbie (my sister and I loved barbie, and played quite frequently even tho she was 7 yrs older than me)
My Little Pony
Cabbage Patch Dolls ( I got mine 1984, i think. That was the year the craze hit?)
Rainbow Brite
Monchichi
Care Bears
ColorForms
Shrinky Dinks
Domino Rally Game
She-Ra to go along with my brothers He-Men.

Best Movies of the 80's?

2008-08-24T21:54:00.004-04:00

Today hubby and I sat down and watched "Back To the Future". I LOVED this movie growing up. I thought Michael J. Fox was such a hunk, the way he wore the suspenders and slept in his clothes. It had been such a long time since i saw this movie, it got me thinking. What other movies from that the 80's haven't I seen in a long time but are great. So here is my list, feel free to add your favorite 80's movie.

Labyrinth (David Bowie anyone?)
Short Circuit
The Goonies
Breakfast Club
Ferris Beuller's Day Off
Howard the Duck (goofy but we loved it)
Better off Dead
The Lost Boys
E.T
Stand By Me
Karate Kid
Adventures in Babysitting
Honey I Shrunk the Kids
Teen Wolf
The Nightmare on Elm Street series
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Dead Poet's Society
Poltergeist
Chances Are
The Gremlins

There are tons more that i can think of but I'll leave that to you. What's your fave 80's movie? Also check out this website, it will leave you feeling nostalgic.

Ever been so mad?

2008-08-17T13:00:00.005-04:00

That you could see fire in your eyes? Spit nails? That you could feel your blood pressure rise instantly? I was, yesterday!

I had a few errands to run and i left the kids at home with daddy. I got in my car and went on my way. Happy to be alone for a few short blissful hours.

I only ended up being gone a total of abut 3 hours, however huge things were going on at my house. I pulled in the driveway and i could see that brian had been trimming his hair. That is when i had the worst feeling in my stomach. I walked in to the house to see brian messing with tyler's hat. I KNEW something was up. Not because tyler was wearing a hat, but i could just tell.

I walked over to my baby and lifted his hat. OMG to my horror, brian had shaved my baby's hair off. Military style. Buzzed. Gone. I was mortified. I was pissed. I yelled at him. Geez couldn't he at least call me and ask if it is ok to do that.

So here are before and after pics of my baby with his new 'do.

Before:

After:

Adventures in Potty Training

2008-08-14T21:18:00.002-04:00

It's that time in my life and his, he is almost 3. Actually Tyler has been doing pretty darn good. Better than our 6yr old did when she was training. Anyway jump to today. We have now graduated to undies during outings, whereas we used to put a diaper on him.

Today was Megan's first soccer practice of the season. So we all (Brian included) trudged out to the fields; collapsible chairs, sunglasses and water bottles in tow. We meet the new coach and get started. Brian was watching Megan and i was entertaining Tyler. We were squeezing each others cheeks and saying "Chubby Baby". He was cracking up so hard...... until HE PEED ON ME! It was just enough to feel it through my jeans. I freaked and basically threw him up and off my lap. I told hubby to take him and teach him to pee standing up.

A few minutes later they came back. Unsuccessful. Tyler told me "I don't wanna pee on the dirt". I was LOL and i am sure that all the other moms thought i was some looney.

(note to self... make Brian teach Tyler how to pee standing up)

Our Day at the Cincinnati Zoo

2008-08-11T13:32:00.008-04:00

We decided to go to the zoo yesterday. We packed up the car and headed out. It is a quick trip, less than an hour to get there. The Cincinnati Zoo is beautiful, if you have ever been there you know what i mean. Lots of wonderfully landscaped gardens with all types of plants to excite all of your senses.

The Cincinnati Zoo is the 2nd oldest zoo in the United States. It is also know for it breeding programs.

10,000 lb Asian elephant named Sabu. He has been returned to the Cincinnati Zoo after being in Missouri for nearly 10yrs. He has been on loan to father elephants to increase the population of captive Asian elephants, a species that is dwindling in the wild. With Sabu's homecoming was a special weekend for the zoo, half priced admissions.

A white cockatoo hanging out in the tree eating a pink grapefruit

2 of the many reptiles in the reptile house. The reptile house is the oldest zoo building in the U.S. dating back to 1875. The top pic is of a Burmese Python and the bottom is of a Chinese Aligator

The funniest part our day was when we were looking at the Red River Hog. It is a big reddish brown pig like animal. Someone next to us was letting a small child take pictures with their digital camera... well i guess you can see where this is going. The kid dropped the camera into the exhibit and the pig decided to eat the camera. Not good for the camera and i am sure it wasn't good for the animal. But is sure was damn funny watching the family in horror as the kid screamed abou the camera. And come to find out, the camera wasn't theirs but a friend who came with them to the zoo.

in this pic, he chewed off the lens and you can kind of see the teeth marks on it.

Speciality Cakes... by Shawna

2008-08-10T21:04:00.004-04:00

My sister does awesome with cake decorating. She is an amateur, she has never had formal training or schooling, this is just a hobby that she loves to do. She always makes her kids fancy special cakes. She has also made megan 2 as well. I only have pics of one of her cakes on this computer. I will have to get some of her pics and scan them and post them here.

Here's the pic of the cake that she just made for her 3 year old:

Ahhh the smell of a new box of crayola crayons

2008-08-06T12:24:00.002-04:00

it means school time is upon us. Shortly the kids will all be going back to school. However going back to school is just a little different for our household. We home school.

Essentially we home school all year long. We don't have a specific curriculum that we follow. We believe that learning shouldn't stop for 3 months. If you want to get technical we follow an unschooling approach. Unschooling is the belief of child led learning. So for example, last year we tried to do math with Megan, however whatever kind of math program we tried with her she threw the biggest fits and got so angry and upset. It just wasn't worth the headache and her emotional distress to force her to do math. We asked her what she wanted to learn. She wanted to learn to read.

She worked on all kinds of phonics and language arts type books and worksheets. She started reading beginner books. She is now a very good reader, reading on a 3rd grade level at 6 years old. Megan chooses her books from the library weekly on various subjects. She loves science readers and is learning lots of facts on animals, weather and nature. She can spout out random facts that blow me away and then find the book to back it up.

I am sure that this upcoming year will prove to be just as exciting and fulfilling as last.

Rainy Day

2008-08-05T14:22:00.002-04:00

Today is a rainy day. I love rainy days. I woke up this morning and heard the rain splattering on the windows and the familiar rumble of thunder in the distance. Not once did i think to myself that today was going to be horrible because of the rain. I just snuggled down in the bed and fell back to sleep as the kids were not yet awake.

My favorite things to do on a rainy day

sleep in/take a nap
watch movies snuggled on the couch with the kids and popcorn
read a good book
stay in my lounge clothes all day
play board games or card games
clean the house
stay on the internet an extra long time
bake cookies or cake/be crafty
look at picture albums with the kids
Go outside and play in the rain

Swimming with the cousins

2008-08-04T18:29:00.008-04:00

Just a few pics of my kids and my sister's kids takin' a break at the pool. The kids range in age from 15- 2 almost 3 year olds.

Tyler hanging out with all his "floaties" on.

Hubby has to have another surgery!

2008-07-31T17:05:00.008-04:00

This will be his 4th surgery. He was hurt on June 13th at work. He was in the hospital for a week and while there had 2 surgeries. The first one was a fasciotomy to relieve pressure due to compartment syndrome. The second surgery was a debridment and to place the VAC into place. He had the VAC on for 10 days or so, then he had a split thickness skin graft done.

He has been going to physical therapy to regain maximum use of his hand and arm. This just wasn't happening. His skin is pulling when he tries to open his arm all the way out. The dr. that did the skin graft wants to do another surgery to loosen up the skin and remove some of the scar tissue that has built up around the original wound. Removing this should help with movement and stop the pulling.

This is brian's arm the after he came home from the hosptial the white thing you see is his tendon.

This is his arm after the skin graft. The skin graft was done 6/27 and this picture was taken on 7/20 so almost 1 month later. The area that is pulling is up near the elbow at the end where the stitch scars are and the lower right hand side where it starts to curve back up.

Not feeling quite so hunky dorry these days

2008-07-30T23:38:00.003-04:00

Been feeling funky lately. Depression combined with mania. Weird! I have never had an episode like this before. I am agitated, aggravated, tired, and depressed. I am not needing much sleep although i am tired.

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist next week. It was a standing appointment and it couldn't be better timing. Until then i just gotta keep going.

What I'd rather be doing

2008-07-28T12:52:00.003-04:00

As i sit here waiting for the little one to finish his lunch so i can lay him down, i am thinking of all the things that i NEED to do, but as i look outside i think of all the things i WANT to do. Thing that i would rather be doing. So that leads me to my blog for today. Need vs. Want

Things I need to do today

finish dishes
take something for dinner out
fold laundry
put laundry away
vaccum house
go through all my too small clothes (ya know, those ones that shrunk in the dryer)
re-organize my closet while i am at it.
notification letter to school district on the intent to homeschool.

Things i want to do today

weeding the garden and picking veggies that are ripe and ready
sewing fabric napkins (my newest "green" venture)
Reading my book, i just cannot put it down
online looking for recipes, craft ideas or whatever
napping
sitting lazily on the porch in the sun
messing in my flower beds
out driving around BY MYSELF, with the tunes cranked up loud, my shades on and pretend like i don't have any kids at the moment.

Maybe i will post a little update at the end of the day and let ya all know what i did and didn't do.

Am I the Freak Kid at School or Something?

2008-07-27T19:48:00.002-04:00

you know the kid that you alway look at, but never talk to?

C'mon people show me some love.. i see ya visiting and i have no comments. I just NEED to know what y'all are thinking. Am i just nuts or what?

Flowers From My Garden

2008-07-19T19:15:00.010-04:00

I just love to garden. I have some really nice flowers, imo. A few pics from around the yard. One of the daisies that are around my back porch. These daisies were grown from a plant that was basically dead. The flowers are now thriving and look amazing.

I don't exactly know what this plant is put it looks nice. I have lots of yellows, purples and whites in my flower bed in the back yard. I get full sun, so i have lots of variety to choose from when planting back there.(If anyone knows what this little plant is, let me know) A friend of my mother's gives me lots of perennials when she separates hers and i never get the names.

Black-Eye Susan. Just a little one. I have a few plants that surround the birdbath. They will bloom all summer. The black eye susan is a perennial and will come back again next summer.