A lot has happened in the months that i have updated my blog. I feel that i need to release some of what is going on inside of me. For those of you that don't know, I deal with Bipolar Disorder on a daily basis. It's not fun. It is a rollercoaster of emotions from one day to the next. I have currently been in a "Manic" state for almost a year now. It's been hard. I have lost everything i ever cared about. I lost my husband, I lost my children, I lost my home. I lost my life. All because i wasn't willing to admit to my Psychiatrist that yes i was in mania.
I have moved on. I met a wonderful man who is now my second husband. I don't know how well of a decision that was at the time that i made it. However he understands my bipolar and stands by me. I have now been changed medications and are hoping and praying for them to begin working so i can get off the rollercoaster that i have been used to as my life. This past year has been crazy. From impromptu road trips to partying every night of the week to divorce to drug use. I am coming down and crashing. I reached out and hopefully will receive the medical help that i need to deal with this head on.
Mental health has a stigma that no one wants to admit or deal with. Sometimes it is easier to deal with it now than never. I never wanted to admit that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain and for the rest of my life will be on medication to balance it out.
I need that rainbow to guide me to the end. To reassure me that it will all work out. I need clarity in my life. I need to open my eyes and see that to admit this doesn't make me a bad person, possibly stronger in the end for getting it out and getting the help that i need.
2 comments:
I love you, you know I will get you all the help you need.
You have taken the most important first step of asking for help. Sounds like you've god a good man by your side to help you through. I'll keep you in my thoughts.
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